I miss you buddy, I honestly do.

You know what hurts? It’s the fact that I’ve completely lost you. And I don’t even know the heck why. Dude, WE USED TO TALK EVERYDAY. Every fucking single day and now what? We were so close; I even felt like I have found in you the best friend I’ve been longing for ever since the day my first ever real friend left me when we were four years old. I thought that I could have a decent best friend and I really thought it would be you. But look at us now, it’s like we barely know each other. It’s as if I don’t and never existed in your world. Do you have any idea how much I want to talk to you right now and tell you how much I’ve missed you and how much I want us to go back to the way things were? Wherein I can tell you anything and everything? If only I could, I would. But I can’t. You wanna know why? Because I know you wouldn’t even give a damn if I told you. It hurts, man. It really does. For once in my life I want to have someone that would constantly be there for me, but I guess that will never be you.

So… these past few days have been a roller coaster ride for me - literally; in a span of one week, I’ve managed to put myself into different situations, with different people. Now that I’ve come to think of it, I realized how college managed to change me… A LOT. I’m not the girl I used to be 10 months ago; the things I believed in before are entirely different from what I believe in now. The once optimist has decided to join the dark side and contain herself in a black hole, a very deep one for that matter. I don’t know what happened to me, and if I’m liking it but I do know one thing… SHIT JUST GOT REAL. Little by little, I feel like I’m becoming more numb. I think I may have mastered the art of pretending; I can fool everyone into thinking I’m alright, as if nothing is wrong, and no one will ever know how completely fucked up my life is. And that’s the problem… NO ONE KNOWS and no one even bothered to care.